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Jessica Simpson to Play Samus Aran in Upcoming Metroid Movie

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Jessica Simpson as Samus?

It's early on a Saturday and it looks like the crazies are already coming out. It appears that there is a rumor going around that Jessica Simpson, the former Nuclear Scientist and MIT graduate (j/k), is slated to play Samus Aran in the upcoming Metroid movie that is supposedly directed by Uwe Boll?

Look, as cool as it would be to have a new Metroid movie, this is doubtful for so many reasons. Simpson isn't exactly a great actress and Uwe Boll is a complete idiot when it comes to realizing video games on the silver screen (or DVD in most cases). On top that, wouldn't Nintendo actually tap some people with talent to make a film based on a major franchise? We remember the rushed Christmas flop known as the Super Mario Bros. Movie.

But for kicks, here's what the rumor states:

"Actress Jessica Simpson is rumored to have secured the role of Space Bounty Hunter Samus Aran in a Hollywood version of a Nintendo game. In the game, Metroid, the hero controls Samus on her goal to rid the world of energy sucking beasts called Metroids. Think of it as a cross between Aliens and Dracula.

Simpson is excited to restart her movie career and is reportedly taking part in the selection of Samus' love interest. Simpson's publicists has also confirmed that she will be contributing to the plot. "Ms Simpson feels the plot is too complex and would like to move the plot closer to it's core story of love and adventure.

The movie, rumored to be directed by famed director Uwe Boll will feature a wise cracking ethnic Metroid played by the fat kid from good burger."

What do you think?

Stupid Rumor Source: VG Chartz (Via RumorMiller)

 

Comments  

 
+1 #1 wait...Mother Brain 2010-06-05 12:07
... I thought April 1st was two months ago. :/
 
 
#2 Crack head!Gamus Maximus 2010-06-05 15:53
VG Chartz and/or whatever source they got this nonsense from should be wiped off the web. You're 100% right that Nintendo would never dare let Uwe Boll touch the Metroid franchise.
 
 
-1 #3 NintendoRumorMiller 2010-06-05 16:38
Just like Nintendo would never make a crappy zelda game? Or maybe how Hollywood would never let a beloved franchise like Indiana Jones be ruined by a realllllllly crappy movie?
 
 
#4 @rumormillerKing Kampo 2010-06-05 20:39
You're a foll if you think this is true. Yes bad movies get made based on games, but an IP owned by Nintendo is a different story. They trusted Disney once to make SMB in the 80s and it bombed.

And WTF are you talking about a bad Zelda game? Are you ten yers old or just dumb?
 
 
#5 RE: Jessica Simpson to Play Samus Aran in Upcoming Metroid MovieWarhead 2010-06-06 09:10
Probably a lie, but if this turns out to be true, OH BOY, there's gonna be protest.

And Jessica Simpson as Samus? Letting this airheaded bimbo play one of the best female protagonists ever brought to gaming is one of the most inexcusable casting choices ever.
 
 
#6 ThunderchinJ.S. 2010-06-08 07:25
Quoting Warhead:
Probably a lie, but if this turns out to be true, OH BOY, there's gonna be protest.

And Jessica Simpson as Samus? Letting this airheaded bimbo play one of the best female protagonists ever brought to gaming is one of the most inexcusable casting choices ever.

I'm with ya on that one, Warhead. I would much rather have, say, Tara Reid play the part, or even Mila Kunis. Anybody that dosn't have the last name of "Simpson" or "Lohan."
 
 
#7 So after 25 years....Thisisrumorcontrol 2010-06-08 19:38
.....this is what we get? A movie based on one of the most respected and loved gaming franchises in video game history and after waiting all this time for a potential movie on the games we get Uwe Boll and Daisy Dukes?

WTF?!?!?!?!?!?

I sure hope to hell this is some bs rumor. Whats next? The Legend of Zelda directed by Kevin Smith and starrring Seth Rogan? :-x
 
 
#8 RE: Jessica Simpson to Play Samus Aran in Upcoming Metroid MovieMahouko 2010-06-09 08:14
@Kin kampo, There where really bad Zelda games on a "console" called CDI a long time ago (look it up on wiki ;))
I really do hope this is gonna stay a rumor though, If it isn't may god have mercy on us all :cry:
 
 
#9 Metroid fanboyCyberSkull 2010-06-10 07:18
I find myself in tears as I think of my one true video game love in this situation. Boll is franchise poison, of the games that I know of that he has adapted to film, I have not heard of any development for new one in their respective series.
 
 
#10 Don't WorryAcFreeze 2010-06-10 09:59
Like it said in the post, it's all crazy non-sense, because no way would Nintendo let those crazies near Metroid. Plus Uwe Boll said it's "BS". So don't worry.

VGChartz and RumorMiller probably just wanted traffic.
 

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